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Periodically relayed tunnel

Trying to play Minecraft with a friend of mine, but the dot indicating if the tunnel is direct or relayed is blue, indicating that it is the latter. We have already tried the common fixes, (like turning of your Firwall etc.). I only seem to get a relayed tunnel to him, with other people, I have a direct tunnel. Periodically we have a green dot allowing us to play with each other. Does anyone know a fix for this?